I've tucked myself into bed with a ton of nibbles and Definitely Maybe on (I've never seen it and feel like it's now time to give it a whirl) I'm not moving for the rest of the day! That's how Mondays should really be.
Is it just me that wishes I could be a toddler again? The only care being which shade of crayola I was going to use to colour in the princesses hair in my fairytale colouring book. Not being able to sleep on Christmas Eve because you were absolutely buzzing for Christmas morning, completely falling for it when you put a beer out every Christmas instead of a glass of milk for Santa. Not realising it was actually your dad necking that can of beer and not the man in the red suit. Spending a whole day at school creating masterpieces your mum probably threw in the bin and playing mums and dads all day, by 3pm needing some serious nap recovery. God those were the days! Not having to worry about catching feelings or losing friends or how other people see you through their eyes! Adulthood sucks and I wish I could stay young and innocent forever. Now I'm being made to think about mortgages, growing up way too quickly and actually managing to put money in a savings account! (It was probably only a year ago that my savings account started to get a small amount of attention)
This is a post I've wanted to write for a while now but just haven't had the balls to be a little more risky with my material and hit a subject which I think it's safe to say a lot of people can relate to. I'm use to taking about 50 photos of me holding a product and writing what I think about it. I want to feel confident enough to write more wordy posts because this is the kinda stuff I like to read. I love a good post where I can sit down with a cup of tea and really relate to it immensely.
Everybody gets a little stressy and depressy sometimes, Everybody allows themselves to over think things when actually it's not all that bad, Everybody just needs a little bit of a rant every now and then!
It's not all bad though really!
I learnt a lot growing up. People walk in and out of your life within a blink of an eye. People aren't very nice. People don't prepare you for how nasty the world we live in can sometimes be. Don't get me wrong though .. most people are lovely, but somehow the ones who aren't so nice and the experiences that aren't so nice tend to be the ones that stick with me longer! I struggled through school because I wasn't one of the 'popular' kids, because I wanted to learn, because my hair wasn't perfect and my skin wasn't clear. I struggled through college because I didn't know what I wanted from life and if I'm honest I still don't. I tried it all and ended up sticking to working full time. Some days I loved school and college .. but other days it just felt like a chore. Somehow diving into the working world seemed more up my street.
Nobody prepares you for the world of dating. Even if someone tried to prepare me for that I still think I'd find it just as awful. It never gets any easier when someone tells you you aren't good enough. It never gets any easier when someone tells you they're still in love with their ex. It never gets any easier when someone talks to you all day everyday and then suddenly you're a stranger. It never gets easier when you thought that first date went really well but you never hear from them again afterwards. Don't get me wrong it's fun but I definitely don't find it exciting. I feel like dating would be so much better if I could have a super power and read people's minds. That way I could find out from the off if I'm wasting my time or if my presence is genuinely accepted. Every girl just wants to feel special and feel appreciated and all men seem to have done in the past is the complete opposite!
When you take a little step back and see the bigger picture it's not all bad! It may feel like it sometimes but popping a smile on your face and taking on the day is easy when you know how. I'm sat here with my comfiest clothes on munching away at all the stuff I absolutely shouldn't be eating .. what's not to love right?!
One thing I have learnt recently is that I'm my own worst enemy. I allow my mind to wander and make situations worse in my head. Yes I may lack in confidence sometimes, Yes I might struggle to accept the fact that I haven't yet achieved my fairytale happy ever after but I'm young I need to live my life first, Yes sometimes things might not go to plan or the way I want it to go but there is no obstacle that can't be overcome. There's so much more to celebrate .. don't just eat a slice eat the whole cake, if something doesn't go right then try again but this time try a little harder! nothing worth having comes easily, people come and go but at least you have to memories stop stressing about what could have been, but most of all .. Love Yourself First!
I feel like I've rambled on enough now I'm not really sure if I've made much sense at all but .. just remember it's a bad day (or week) not a bad life!
Much Love
Maisie x